The story that sets me apart begins spring, sophomore year of high school....

This was the year I was violently raped of my virginity by my best friend’s older brother in their secluded basement. This memoir documents my nine year silent struggle while I attempted to reconcile this traumatic event and simultaneously seek enlightenment. Solace, and ultimately, salvation, came in the form of two consuming outlets: education and the sport of lacrosse. As a model student-athlete and daughter of a black belt, I was too young and naive to process the event and too terrified to admit my ‘mistake.’ Therefore, I resolved to maintain a façade of perfection while battling severe depression behind closed doors. Constantly trying to bury the past, my story is told with journal entries that narrate my journey from suburban Upstate New York to California and back, through my successful collegiate and Division I lacrosse years, until my soul-crushing breakdown of 2011-2012. On the verge of suicide, illumination came, ironically, from the sport I had a love/hate relationship with since high school, and the Native American Indians whom I encountered during this difficult year who showed me the path without ever speaking a single word. The following is my love story with the greatest sport ever played.